It is the opinion of transpersonal psychologist Albert Clayton Gaulden, our founding director, that marriage difficulties always entail the actions of both partners. In the case of critical addictions and compulsions, the abuser may be demonstrating the most destructive behaviors, while the partner who considers himself or herself a victim, plays their part in the dysfunction of the marriage. The old adage it takes two to tango could be rewritten to read it takes two to make a marriage work or fail.
The Shadow in Both Partners
The Sedona Intensive suggested resolution of marital difficulty is to have both partners go through a one week Intensive separately and then to go through a couple’s week to put the two back together again. Our philosophy is that it is the shadow within each of us, i.e. the nature of the male within the woman and the spirit of the woman within the man that causes the strife and stress to the marriage or partnership.
The Way to Honest and Loving Relationships
Our personal development staff contend that until two people separate but equally integrate their shadow – as Dr. John Sanford refers to as invisible partners – they are unable to have an honest and loving relationship with one another. The crux of the problem is that each of them brought baggage from their family of origin into the relationship hence a woman may transfer her bad relationship with her father onto her husband. The man in the partnership may have had bad blood between himself and his mother which he transfers onto his wife. Many of us recreate the harm done by parents and siblings by projecting these feelings onto our relationships, lovers as well as friends.
A Good Relationship Begins With You
The resolution of marital difficulties is to first learn to have a relationship with yourself, including your shadow, before you can have a good relationship with someone else.
Our professional therapists at the Sedona Intensive are able to work with both heterosexual and homosexual couples.