Between the Cracks: A blog by Albert Clayton Gaulden

I got a telephone call from a friend today telling me that her dear friend and companion of more than 25 years had died. She was emotional for a moment but then we shifted into the everlasting nature of life; there is no death. I am going to take my indomitable Mr. Darby with me to visit this woman next week as she has two dogs that my wire fox terrier can romp and play with in her backyard.

I sit every day with people who are dying—dying to the false self and being reborn as authentic. Today a man was stunned when I told him he was passing away minute by minute and if he hurried he could leave my house in a half hour as true blue. His wife came later and she was thrilled to spill the beans of malfeasance and shenanigans done by the woman she is not; her authentic self has been cowering in the corner for more than 50 years. Ain’t that a shame?

I love to think of myself as being in the business of resurrection. First you die and then you take up your bed and walk away from me as legitimate. The world is so full of nonsense and poppycock that there is little wonder any of us stumble into the waiting room of death and rebirth. Some of us are caught in the sand trap of sexual addiction, most of which is fostered by rum and dope—take me anywhere but where I am—and so, many die in the unreal world. Finding the next one, and believing that it is the real world, eludes a lot of us and we stay stuck, floating between here and there. For others it is money, property and prestige—trying to be a big piece of stuff in a pip squeak’s lair.

Someone asked me once what era begone would claim me and I said, “The Renaissance.” “How so? he asked. I said that it was not only the breathtaking art of Michelangelo and Botticelli and the culture of Catholicism and the cucina deliciosa and Sturm and Drang (Storm and Stress) of the conniving ‘de Medici’s, but also the poetry of a man like John Donne (1572-1631) all of which call my soul to its resolution:

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for, thou art not so,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, Kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poison, warre, and sickness dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell’st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Albert Clayton Gaulden is the founding director of the Sedona Intensive and author of You’re Not Who You Think You Are: A Breakthrough Guide to Discovering the Authentic You. For more information about Albert and Sedona Intensive visit http://www.sedonaintensive.com/.

Purchase You’re Not Who You Think You Are at http://www.yourenotwhoyouthinkyouare.com/

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In a few weeks I will officiate at a wedding for two people who mean a lot to me. One of the conditions for me to agree to perform the ceremony was that I do not believe that two people become one and would not say that in my address to them and their guests. That position is an archaic Christian fantasy and I said that I do not believe in fairy tales unless I am reading one to a child. It is my opinion that religion will do anything to tie two people in bondage rather than to acknowledge that individuality especially in marriage is tantamount to that marriage lasting. Divorce rate is now in the mid 60% range, which does not support two people becoming one, nor does it really endorse the institution of marriage. If my child brought home a 35 on a test I would get him a tutor or put him in a different school.

I am working with couples who bought into the nonsense that the “two of you will become one” when they married. Several of them are in third marriages and the others are struggling in their first and only marriage.

Joe and Susan, both in second marriages and married to one another for twelve years, will probably pull apart from the girdle of religiosity that bound them and take care of themselves individually or their relationship is kaput. Susan said to me, “I need to heal me. If Joe likes himself as he is, in time we will divorce.”

And as a sidebar, what is wrong with a man or woman not marrying? I grew up in the south and I can tell you that latter-day Rhetts and Scarletts do not need the pressure that they have to get married to be accepted—to be normal. “What will society think?” Maybe, we would think that those who stay single prefer it that way.

If you or someone you know is considering marriage, the greatest gift you could give them is the understanding that they can always be two sole and separate human beings—loving and caring and devoted—but not to buy into this amalgamation that religion is trying to saddle them with. Relationships thrive from differences as much as they do from sameness.

Albert Clayton Gaulden is the founding director of the Sedona Intensive and author of You’re Not Who You Think You Are: A Breakthrough Guide to Discovering the Authentic You. For more information about Albert and Sedona Intensive visit http://www.sedonaintensive.com/.

Purchase You’re Not Who You Think You Are at http://www.yourenotwhoyouthinkyouare.com/

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The most useless pursuit on the planet is trying to find out who said what to whom about you. Gossip has no upside. When someone tries to drop a rumor stink bomb on you—“have you heard the latest…,”—refuse to take it and don’t listen. Jewish literacy cautions against idle gossip in its story Lashon hara. As the tale is told, a man goes to his Rabbi and confesses, “I have said many bad things about you. Will you forgive me?” The Rabbi advises the man to go to the highest hill with a down pillow, slit it and release all the feathers. The man does as instructed and then returns to the Rabbi and asks, “Now will you forgive me?” The Rabbi says, “Go and retrieve the feathers.”

As long as we are adding a truism to the proverbial Ten Commandments perhaps we ought to add that ‘your enemy teaches you more than a friend,’ and it is because a friend often times won’t tell you the truth and an enemy, or non-friend, will say something whether it is hurtful or not. You two are not intimates and he is being used by the lords of karma to deliver an insight that only a non-friend can.

I remember once that someone whom I did not consider an intimate said that I would rather someone like me than to tell that person the truth. She was referring to a man who was drinking and womanizing but I would not intervene although he oftentimes sought me out for counsel. The unpleasant verbal blast was very biting and hurtful. Guess what I did about it? I had lunch with the drunk and told him he needed help and that AA would make a great starting place.

The next time someone barks at and bites you, look for the lesson in what he or she is teaching you. And make sure that it is a lesson you need to learn. There are a lot of troublemakers who are only spreading ill-will and have nothing to do with spiritual lesson-learning. But let’s save that one for another Blog.

Are you always able to see a lesson to be learned when you have a disagreement with someone? Explain.

Albert Clayton Gaulden is the founding director of the Sedona Intensive and author of You’re Not Who You Think You Are: A Breakthrough Guide to Discovering the Authentic You. For more information about Albert and Sedona Intensive visit http://www.sedonaintensive.com/.

Purchase You’re Not Who You Think You Are at http://www.yourenotwhoyouthinkyouare.com/

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